Pants Burgess has been seen around town wining and dining an as of yet unnamed female. We'll assume her name is Skirts.

Heard: Joe McArdell begins courtship of a haunted tree, mistaking it for former presidential candidate John Kerry.

- Patrick Shanks spotted outside of the Excel Energy Center while doing reconnaissance on a prime spot to camp out for Justin Bieber tickets.

- Brandon seen at government center, allegedly filling out the necessary paperwork to legally change his name to "Krandle"