Saturnalia Time

Alright folks, here it is. A little guide to understanding exactly what any member of this worthless band means when they estimate a date. It's gotten so predictably bad that I often wonder if Saturnalia would be a better video game company. Maybe we could get a preview of their full length album at E3 next year!

Doidle To Be Replaced By A Pachyderm?

So I was recently privileged with the opportunity to perform some reconnaissance on Saturnalia HQ... I am disturbed to release this morsel of terrifying bit of news:

Joe and Josh have a baby elephant hidden behind the couch and are training it to replace Brandon on the keyboards. I did notice a "coincidental" placement of a trumpet and a trombone in the room as well as some off-key warbling emanating from their studio while I was in the shitter, but I believe it's all just a decoy for their true plans. When quizzed about the possible conspiracy, Patrick Shanks replied, "Well, an elephant would be pretty good cause the trunk is like a third hand. Elephant trunks are really precise actually! They can pick up peanuts! Brandon can't pick up peanuts with his trunk, but he can really pound my hole with it."

I'm really sorry that Saturnalia Gossip hasn't been updated in months. This is due to the fact that I suck and later on, I got-der. So. I hope this makes up for it.


Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:

CATURNALIA